You swipe through the Nairobi Securities Exchange (NSE) app like it’s Tinder, spotting a stock that looks kind of promising. You hit “Buy,” heart racing. You even start checking on it daily like you’ve just started talking to someone new.
But then — it drops 5%. No explanation. No closure. You’re left wondering: “Was it me? Was I too early? Was it Safaricom or just vibes?”
Welcome to the dating life of a Kenyan retail investor.
Phase 1: The Talking Stage – “Research & Analysis”
Before buying a stock, you Google everything:
- P/E ratios
- Market sentiment
- Board announcements
- Rumors on Reddit or Kenyan Twitter
Just like stalking your crush’s Instagram stories, you try to piece together if they’re worth your emotional investment.
You tell yourself, “I’m not going in blind — I need to be sure.” But let’s be real, sometimes you just buy it because it “felt right.”
Phase 2: The Honeymoon Stage – “Stock imepanda kidogo”
Your stock starts going up. 2%, 4%, maybe 7%. You feel seen. You feel loved. You start imagining the future:
- “Maybe I can retire early.”
- “I’ll buy land.”
- “This is my ticket out of this economy.”
You’re literally watching NSE tickers with the same energy you check your crush’s “last seen” on WhatsApp.
Phase 3: Red Flags – “Price imeanza kushuka”
Suddenly, your stock starts acting weird:
- The company posts losses
- Dividends are cut
- The CEO resigns under suspicious circumstances
- Naivas IPO rumors come and go like situationships
And just like that one toxic ex, the stock leaves you questioning everything.
But you don’t sell. Nooo, you “believe in its long-term potential.” You say, “It’s just going through something — it’ll bounce back.”
You gaslight yourself harder than your ex ever did.
Phase 4: The Long Wait – “HODL Life”
Now you’re deep in the relationship. You’ve spent money, time, and emotional energy. You don’t want to leave because:
- You’ve come too far
- You're afraid to take the loss
- You still believe in the dream
So you hold. And hold. You endure economic downturns, policy changes, and tax hikes like you’re fighting for love in a telenovela.
You’ve become that loyal partner who stays, even when things look bleak — because “one day, it will pay off.”
Phase 5: Either You Break Up or Get Married
Eventually, one of two things happens:
- The stock turns around. You were right. You brag on Twitter. You give TED Talks on patience.
- Or it tanks forever. You cut your losses. You cry in silence. You go back to money market funds like a toxic ex you swore you'd never return to.
Either way, you learn something. Either about stocks — or about your own attachment style.
So Why Do We Stay?
Because at the heart of it, buying shares is emotional. It’s hope wrapped in spreadsheets. It’s risk disguised as optimism. It’s believing in something bigger than yourself — even when the chart says otherwise.
Just like love, investing requires:
- Patience
- Resilience
- Boundaries
- And knowing when to walk away
Final Thoughts
Buying shares in Kenya isn’t just financial. It’s deeply personal. It exposes your fears, your faith, and sometimes, your foolishness. It teaches you to trust, let go, and occasionally, take an L in peace.
Because whether it’s love or investing — if you’re not ready to risk, you’re not ready to grow.
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